women

A time to rebel

Posted on by rwattsfreelancer

I once wrote, that when a woman goes through major changes in her life, there is a good chance she will cut her hair.

Well, for now, my hair is once again, quite long.  I spend a lot of money of having professional highlights through my naturally brown hair.

It looks OK (I think!), and I’m sure a million other woman do the same thing to theirs.

At the moment my life is fairly settled, no major incidents to report, no crisis or drama demanding my attention.

I work regular, if somewhat long hours;  I neither love nor hate the job, I just have to do it!  There’s no romantic entanglements, and I’m fairly OK about being single.

In fact, it’s fair to say that life has become a tad dull.

So, a few weeks ago, before going on a family holiday, a little devil inside me pointed out a pink hair dye.

I thought, this could be interesting!  I was away for a week, and the dye was temporary, so I gave into my little devil, and proceeded to put the dye on top of my high lightened hair!

It was a little bit shocking, but I liked it!  In fact, I liked it so much, when I came back from holiday, and it started fading, I put another, brighter pink dye on!

And there started my problems!

My employer decided the colour was not what they would consider appropriate.  And whilst, in a way, I can see their point, my role is not customer facing, and the colour of my hair in no way affects my ability to carry out my duties.

So, having been sent home to remove the pink, either by endless washing, or by way of a brown dye, I made a decision that the time had come to part ways.

Now, I have spent the best part of my working life sat at a desk, crunching numbers, and generally being vaguely dissatisfied with where I had ended up.

Music and writing are the only real interests that I have, (outside of drinking at weekends!), but unfortunately neither of them are going to present a way of a) career change of b) reliable source of alternative income!

So, whilst dying my hair bright pink might be amusing, it might remind me of the little rebel I was once was in my teens, it’s also been a catalyst for reviewing where I am, and where I want to go, far more than cutting it all off has ever been!

And, whilst I do not have any answers right now, I know that I can no longer keep plodding along in a career that does not, and never has, kept me happy!

So, any suggestions on a career change, whilst in your 40’s, that allows you to dye your hair any colour of the rainbow would be much appreciated!!

 

 

 

 

Why women need to pamper

Posted on by rwattsfreelancer

In a time when women are increasingly required to be all things to all people, whether you are busy looking after the family, building your career, or even both, it’s hard to find the time in our busy schedules, for ourselves.

Considering all the stresses that we do have to deal with on a daily basis, if we don’t take a little time out, to give ourselves that that one little treat,  who else will?

Much as we love them, we all need time away from the kids, the husbands, the parents, the job, and all the other parts of our lives, that together, take up so much of our time, and cause so much of our stress! 

Even friends can be a drain, having to deal with their drama’s as well as our own.  

So sometime, whilst it’s always good to see friends, and spend time together, every now and then, you need to have time, just for you.

Whether it’s getting your hair done, your nails done, having a spray tan, it is all part of that valuable ‘me-time’. 

Dealing with too much constant stress is not good for anyone, so it’s important to give yourself a treat, to be kind to yourself, to love yourself, for your emotional health and well-being, for your self-esteem. 

Make that time to treat yourself, no matter how small.  It can be a great way to boost your self-esteem, to remind yourself that you are doing a great job, that you deserve a treat, a reward.

Sometimes all it takes, is locking the door, lighting some candles, some soft music, and a long soak in a hot bath! Other times, it’s making sure we get an early night, let’s face it, do any of us get the recommended amount of sleep??

When we feel better about ourselves, the world feels a better place, and we feel better equipped to deal with it all – and isn’t that a better place to find ourselves?

 I’ve just discovered the joys of Gel Nails.   It’s cheap, my nails look pretty, and for 20 minutes the biggest decision I have to make, is what colour I’m getting!  For that short time, everything is about me, and nothing else, it’s precious time out from a hectic schedule, to take some care of me, for a change.

 So whatever treat you choose, just make sure you make the time – after all, aren’t we all worth it??

 

 

The Long versus The Short

Posted on by rwattsfreelancer

I read recently that a woman who cuts her hair, is a woman who is ready to make a change.

But what happens once the changes have been made?

I have naturally dark hair, which is normally fairly long.  But at the moment, it’s short and blonde.

The last 2 years have been challenging for me, on a professional level.  Since being made redundant, I’ve moved from job to job, finding it hard to settle since the redundancy, and my hair has stayed short and blonde.

Last summer, a friend of mine, with a vey successful career, lost over 3 stones, she looked amazing.  To complete the new look, she had her hair cut very short.  Soon afterwards, she left her partner, got a new house, and basically threw herself into herself into life as a single lady.

We met up a few days ago, she is extremely happy, and confident, she’s looking forward to owning a new house, to going on her first girly holiday in years.

I couldn’t help but notice that her hair was longer, it suited her, but I was surprised as she had been adamant she was not going to grow it back.

Maybe, if we cut our hair when we have changes to make, then once they have been made, we allow our hair to grow back?

Which makes me notice my own hair, it’s inching it’s way down my neck again, I can get it in a pony tail once more.

Less appealing, though, are the dark roots.

My own situation is settling down, I’ve been in my current job for 6 months, and I feel like I could stay here a while.

Maybe this is the reason I have been reluctant to book an appointment with the hairdresser?

Maybe, allowing our hair to grow back, is a part of accepting ourselves again, after the changes have been made?

I don’t know the answer, obviously, but I do know, that right now, I want my long hair back!!

Bobbi2 Dabob

Single and Childless – It’s not the end of the world!

Posted on by rwattsfreelancer

Getting to 44 and being single and childless was not a actual life choice, I never made a decision to be in this situation.

It’s just, life happened that way.  It was never the right person, the right time, I just assumed that husband and babies would be part of my life, at some point, in the future. And then, slowly, I realised I was too old to be having babies, and I no longer had the patience to deal with the BS associated with men!

It’s strange how people react to my single, childless state.  Meeting new people, you always ask the standard questions:

are you married?

how many kids have you got?

Some people seem genuinely surprised by my situation, especially someone of my age.

The last ‘normal’ boyfriend relationship I had was probably about 7 years ago, and even I am beginning to think there must be something wrong with me!

A friend recently told me to go to a museum to meet single men.  Her rationale was that the men you meet in a pub are likely to be drinkers, men you meet at a museum, less likely.

Well, I can’t argue with her logic, but her plan has one fatal flaw.

Should her plan succeed, I would potentially end up with someone who think it’s OK to spend their spare time wandering around museums!  I would, of course, be in a pub somewhere, waiting for him to be finished!

You see, I have tried to explain this to her, but she doesn’t seem to understand that; I don’t drink, go to pubs and gigs because there is something missing from my life.  Because there really isn’t.

I drink because I like going ‘out’. I like to meet new people, I like to be with old friends, I like to have a drink and I like to have a dance, and if not the pub, then there’s the joy of going to a gig, and yes, for me , that means a lot of drink , as well as the screaming, singing and dodgy dancing!

As I get older, and especially since I got past the big ‘4 0’  my social life has changed, as you would expect.

I don’t go into ‘town’ anymore if I can help it, I’m not ‘hip’ or ‘cool’, I don’t pretend to be able to be able to keep up with the ‘kids’. I prefer the more traditional pubs, with people from my own generation, playing music that I can understand!  But I’m certainly not ready to start acting my age just yet!  I don’t knit, or bake, or take any interest in my garden, much to my mother’s horror!

I do have moments of regret, or more accurately, pangs of panic, a sense that I ‘forgot’ to have my children, but I can’t change things now.  I don’t think I would want to.

I remember feeling relieved at reaching 20, knowing I would never be a teen mum like so many of my friends – nothing wrong with it, it just wasn’t for me.  I got to 30 and for a (very) short while thought I was finally old enough to consider having a child, but I was in a turbulent relationship at that point, and lived hundred’s of mile away from home in London. I was mid 30’s by the time I got out of the situation and moved closer to home.

I never went through the stir crazy stages of desperation that some of my friends went through, rushing through their 30’s in a state of sheer terror that time was running out for them to meet their perfect men and have some babies.

So, no babies  – but a life full of love, laughter, friends and music, with a little help from a glass or two of cider!